How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
