I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
