dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
