This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
