I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
