i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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