i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
