If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
