This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
