i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
