He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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