He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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