I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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