I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize