I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You can't just leave with hair like that
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
