If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
