At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize