Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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