Michael Bay diarrhea
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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