remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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