Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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