They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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