how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
