from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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