What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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