loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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