So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
