Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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