Pants 0. Shit 1.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
