she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
