He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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