No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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