I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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