Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize