and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
