I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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