we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
