i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
