He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize