I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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