Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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