listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
