My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she looked like the before picture.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
