Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
