Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize