i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
