too bad you live with your parents still
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
