you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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