how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So vagazzling was a success
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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