need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
