the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
