Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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