TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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