Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize