ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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