sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
