If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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