So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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