we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
