I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
