google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize