She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
