my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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