i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
