I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
