Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
