dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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