I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize