You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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