I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
