Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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