what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize